Bright sight in the fog

This post is also available in: Nederlands (Dutch)

Little Blond is visiting the Netherlands for a short period of time. To meet some family friends, but not in the least to see how her ‘old’ country feels like after five months of living in Portugal…

Arriving in Holland feels unusually common. Though there is a freshness in the things and people I encounter. Even still inside the plane, before landing, I notice the enormous clouds entering this part of Europe. Like being in a tunnel, we fly between these grand and strange objects.

I can almost touch them, they really seem like a heap of cotton balls, just the way they are described in children’s books. It makes me, for a moment, feel a child again.

Did I ever see these typical shaped forms up close like this before? So clean, so dense, that you would think it would be impossible to fly through them. I am astounded by their perfection and beauty…

Leaving the airport in my rental I drive towards my family like it was yesterday. Birds are dancing in the wind, having fun in being pushed around by nature’s forces. And though it is raining, I can see clearly for miles and miles. Something different when living in a hilly landscape, while rain gives a lot of fog as well.

Luckily it is a Sunday afternoon, so not much traffic. Nevertheless I sense the more aggressive style of driving around me, but even rising in myself. The radio is screaming out loud music I do not recognize (am I really that long gone?).

And the commercials are talking in serious language about security, insurance and saving money for later… OMG we are driving each other nuts over here!

On the other hand I see the beauty of the landscape, the well-organized and quick services of almost anything you can think of. Even the hail that turns the surroundings white for a few minutes makes me remind me that I am born in this small country. Yes, this is the Netherlands. I know it well, find my way easily, while having lived or worked in so many places of this country. It certainly feels like home. Especially while hugging and talking face to face with dear family and friends.

My time here is well spend, having almost not a minute alone, but I love it.

I surrender and let myself being pulled in a poodle of love, talking and sharing, inhaling city life and feeling such a warm welcome.

What a richness. I see bright and clear that it is more than okay would I live here once again. Nevertheless I don’t feel a strong urge, but it would be all right, feeling the freedom in choice again.

After ten days a good friend of mine travels back home to Portugal with me. She is a bit afraid of flying, so it is nice for her to experience this side by side. As soon as we set foot in Lisbon, I feel… Yes! I am home! The three hour drive back to my Quinta is a real pleasure.

Good coffee with pastel de nata, a traditional pastry from Portugal, during our pit stop in the sun, makes it complete… I love it here!

But in the next days, because of leaving a fresh new love back in the Netherlands, I start overthinking and feeling, where is my place? And yes, some sides of the culture, the language and the rough weather here in the ‘mountains’ sometimes makes me wonder…

Though the first week gives my friend and me lots of sunny hours, which makes me forget the cold from the last couple of months. At least it seems relative in a country where winter is short. But even when it starts to rain heavily for two and a half weeks straight, after my friend has left, and it is almost impossible to walk due to all paths turning into little rivers, my spirit keeps high.

Even in the fog my sight is bright… I want to stay! I just cannot help it, I am strongly attached to this area…

Nevertheless, I need to keep an open mind!

Biggg kiss from Little Blond

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