Growing roots

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Little Blond is seeing the greater perspective, although the so called purpose of it all, here in Portugal, is still not clear. She is getting the sense that the ‘not knowing’ will be a recurring factor of life. And she is getting more and more comfortable with it…

The greatest question is why am I here, living in Portugal? I still don’t know. Do I need to be here? Yes, that I ‘know’, or rather feel, that is still true. A part of me wants to investigate, check, to see if I have gained something so far. To be able to say, it is not been for nothing… but is it ever? For nothing? Or is it all for nothing anyway, no matter what? Are we, am I, just a mistake or a practical joke from the universe? A random happening? Or the act of God? I don’t know. But I like to believe it is all not for nothing…

Back to my ‘little’ person, what part am I playing here? For one I feel that I am getting stronger, or better said, becoming more and more ‘the pure me’. And I like it, I enjoy ‘me’. I have a nice place to live, in the great outdoors, getting a good routine in taking care of my needs and of others whom I encounter. Enjoying my hour of yoga and meditation, after my walk with my four legged friend, in the morning. Writing for days, cooking nice dishes, taking long walks in the nowadays wet and cloudy weather and contemplating on life in general. Because of the way I arranged my work this year, I have ‘bought’ myself time and I have the luxury of focussing on whatever feels good to me right now. My pace in life is very slow.

Such a feeling of abundance!

‘No need to narrow down, everything is possible.’ Although this is always true, I must admit, in this situation it is much easier to see. So my faith in life, which is maybe my strongest power, develops even further.

On the other hand, there are also days I get really annoyed and fed up with some things. Like making and maintaining the fire, which is now needed 24 hours a day. Bad quality of the wood makes it even worst, the smoke I sometimes inhale gives me pain in my lungs. Do I want to do this every winter, I ask myself?

A short visit to Lisbon, with my first guest from abroad, gives me an insight of a part of me that I neglected. Whereas I am very cautious with the use of electricity, (warm) water and wood, the city does not mind. It floods itself with light and sound. Especially since it is almost Christmas. Litres of water pumps from the fountains and the heating and music from the shops is literally rolling out on the streets.

City life is bursting from energy… And I must confess, I love it! 

So I buy myself a new outfit, wander through the streets, eat a delicious and expansive meal and go out with my friend, dancing all night, drinking lots of gin & tonic! Yes, this also me…

Coming back to my lovely countryside home, I recognize that there is a thin line between preserving and holding back. When do you cross the line of not taking care of your own needs, of not loving yourself enough? Sure, be aware of what you do, ‘reducing’ in view of the environment, sustainability and saving or (even) budgetary, does no harm. But…

Allow yourself ALL the goods in life from time to time. Then you open the gate to real abundance on all levels.

So when it gets real cold, I start to use an extra electric heater. And I take that shower (it is now working properly) longer than one minute when I feel I need it… And at Christmas, I still feel the need to be alone, Beijos gets, like a real Little Prince, steak for dinner. As for me? It may sound cliché, but I feel happy, peaceful and ‘rich’. Sitting in front of the fireplace with a good glass of wine in my hand, I feel ‘my roots are growing’, and I am grateful when thinking of the beautiful people I know all over the world …

The scene of the play of life is grand…

Biggg kiss from Little Blond

4 Replies to “Growing roots”

  1. How funny my stories I’m called Blondie. When I Went to see. Spiritual lady she asked me why I chose portugal. apparently now in Portugal is an energy that attracts spiritual people. She said the arco iris which means rainbow people. Nice story

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