This post is also available in: Nederlands (Dutch)
I feel I live life to the fullest. That does not mean that everything is nice and easy all the time, but my experiences are rich in all senses. Because I notice, I am aware. Aware of the steps I make or, equally important, I do not make. Aware of all these so called minor details in which lie all kind of treasures. In the end, living this way for a longer period, does seem easier, more balanced.
Now that I am becoming more comfortable with myself, with my way of life, and am not so affected with what happens around me, life unfolds in ways I never expected…
One morning,in the beginning of this year, when I sat down to meditate, I had a very clear vision. It is very strange, as I meditate with my eyes open, to see such a clear picture appear while looking at the floor in front of you. It struck me.
My heart opened and the picture was printed onto my mind. I immediately felt, I had to act on this.
The image was of an area in nature. A hilly landscape with trees of a special kind. I felt it was warm there; the ground seemed to be dry and yellow from hours in the sun. I have never been in Africa, but it had a feel it might be Africa. And right away I heard a voice say, “It is still in Europe!” Okay. So what next? Then I remembered my friend who had been on holiday in the midst of Spain. She told me, they call that part the ‘serengeti of Europe’.
Aha, so Spain it seemed…
I cleared my schedule for a whole month and as the days to my departure drew closer, ‘things’ happened. So many clues that I just needed to notice. I never felt the urge to actively investigate, for example browsing on the internet. People around me, books I came across or music I heard made it all clearer.
Before I left I found out that this region I had to find had to be in midst of Portugal (where I had never been before), not Spain… But why or what? I still didn’t know.
So on the first day of March I stepped into my car and started to drive South, leaving the Netherlands behind. Every day being on the road was like peeling an onion, getting to the centre, the core of life, and somehow a cleansing process. I felt more and more grounded and balanced. But I also experienced a strong feeling of timing.
It was like I had my foot slightly on the brake pedal the whole time.
There were ‘things to be done first’. Why, I did never asked myself, I just accepted it. One of them was walking the Caminho Português, starting in Porto and finishing in Santiago de Compostella in Spain. In these ten days of hiking everything became even clearer. Especially the feeling that I did need to look for my vision in Portugal, not Spain.
So finally, the day came that I ‘allowed’ myself to go and explore. That same day I drove into the area of the Alentejo, and… bam! It was like I was struck by lightning! I cried behind the wheel of my car, it was such a perfect moment, everything made sense… “This is where you need to be”, my heart screamed! The first day of my real surge I found it!
Although the grass was green (but filled with yellow! flowers) at this moment, it was March, this wàs the picture printed onto my mind…
In the couple of days I could spend in this region before I needed to go back, it became very clear to me: “I do not know the part I am playing, I just needed to show up here”. Many special things happened again; people I came across, deep insight I experienced, signs I noticed. And not in the least, it felt like coming home. So with pain in my heart I left and yes I felt I needed to go back. But knowing that it would just be for a while, it also made me strong. I had to go and prepare for a great change in my life.
And someone special, who later on turned out to be a keyfigure, gave me a new name that suited my new life… ‘Little Blond’ was born…
Biggg kiss from ‘Little Blond’!