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Little Blond is currently living in her new home in Alentejo, surrounded by Cork oak trees, which makes this part of Portugal so particular. These trees turned out to be quite special…
One of the greatest mysteries for me is, the pattern I see and somehow feel when I am having a fever. The first time I experienced this I was six years old. I was having a severe infection of my tonsils during a vacation in Austria. The fever was so heavy, that I wasn’t allowed to be moved. So the journey back home was postponed. In this time I suffered from extreme high body-temperatures and I remember having strange feelings and frightful emotions. I always have had the impression that I had some sort of near death experience. During the following years this more dimensional image, along with the feelings I experienced then, came back to me whenever I was getting a fever. Like some sort of alarm bell. Very peculiarly. All my life I have failed to describe this experience, nor did I ever encounter something that resembled it.
Up to now.
Yesterday my eyes got stuck on a tree, a cork oak tree. I have seen hundreds of them since I ‘found’ the Alentejo, while they are the main picture in this landscape. But that day I looked closely at the one standing next to me, next to my little table in the shade. I saw… I saw that image! And I wasn’t feverish! I ‘looked’ with all my senses at this gorgeous tree and felt it go deep into my core. Time had stopped. I was now, then, and even before that, or maybe in the future at the same time. Wow….
So, in my experience, the memories in this lifetime, being the human Estèl (aka Little Blond), are the most vivid, or at least the easiest recollected. So how does this picture correlate with an experience almost forty years ago? Had I had some sort of an insight back then? And what about that other timeframe? Did I have had a past life here? That would explain my strong feeling of being at home here. And how did I die then?
Okay. But do I believe in reincarnation anyway? I suppose I do, I never have heard a good explanation why it shouldn’t be true. But the fact is, I really do not know. I believe that it is a possible reality. Not absolute, but relatively, yes.
Anyway, back to the experience. It also had something to do with the heat. Because up till now it always only appeared when my body-temperature had risen a fair amount. That made sense, being in this part of Portugal it can easily get more then 40 degrees Celsius in the summer. Or was there a fire? And I died? And why does it bring me ‘back’ here? It puzzled me.
Then I remembered that the week before I came here, which was also a week before the large fires in the middle of Portugal, were many lives were lost, I found myself having problems with the heat. During my work as a cook I got much more uncomfortable with heat then I was used to. I got my first heavy blister due to hot oil in all my years of cooking. And every time I used a match, the end would come off and ‘touched’ my face or landed in my neck (luckily no harm was done). Like it was getting into some sort of a climax. What to make of all of this? Coincidence or some sort of clues?
In any case, feeling this deep connecting with the cork oak tree and seeing some kind of pattern in my life, it made me grow stronger in believing this is the place were I need to be. This needs further exploring! And it seems, I am getting new mysteries as well 😉
Biggg kiss from Little Blond