This post is also available in: Nederlands (Dutch)
So Little Blond returns to the place of her vision after being back in her birth country for a small three months …
In the beginning it was not easy being back in the Netherlands. Although I am living at a beautiful place, most people cannot believe calling there home, an old monastry, I felt like being divided in two. Half of me was still in Portugal and the other half in this nice building. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate these surroudings, including the great people, friends and family, who support me in every way. Maybe even more, by realizing that my path is turning elsewere.
It made me sad and happy at the same time.
As the weeks progressed, I felt my intentions about living in Portugal grow stronger and stronger. During every day I felt intens and precious moments of knowing it would be ‘the last time’. Mmmm…. I remember this. I have had this proces before! It all became clear that everything I was ‘working on’ these last couple of years, all those steps of letting go and detachement, were helping hands in making this rather large step. Selling my home and giving away most of my ‘stuff’, ending my regular job and at the same time my intimit relationship, living like a Nomad for a while…
And this were only the outside ‘doings’. Due to my reset of a lot of my believes and patterns, I grew stronger in being on my one without all that I had known or held onto before. I saw it all come together, it had been for a purpose… Seeing this made me convinced and confident that following my intuition, without knowing the details, the why and the how, was the right thing to do. The ónly thing to do to be precise.
I cannot nót follow it through.
So I had to leave the Netherlands again. This time with a clear mission. My main goal was to find a place to live in for the next coming months. To built a new home, a new nest, just like hundreds of storks do in that area of Portugal every year. A nice symbol of re-birth.
And one good morning I had a sharp insight again during meditation. At first I had planed to leave the last week of June, but I ‘was told’ I had to leave one week earlier. So I resceduled. Why, I didn’t knew at the time, but later on it turned out that this specific weekend a friend of mine needed to travel to the North of Spain. So we travelled together.
Again the whole four-day trip (it took me one day longer than the previous time), slowly letting the landscape change while driving my car, was part of a proces. I found a real soulmate in my friend, which made the whole trip even more intens. And I also got the chance of looking straight into the mirrow again, because in contact with people, I learn so much about myself. I saw myself on the edge of behaving in the very old pattern of ‘losing myself’, of making myself a kind of co-dependent instead of the co-creator we all should be(come). Luckely, by seeing and aknowledging this, it resolved. It turned out that me and my travel companion formed a great team in co-creating our trip. With not in the least having a great diner within detail just as we had visualised an hour before. It was almost unbelievable. But this is one side of how I experience life.
For me, human life is a mixture of being the creator, the magian, and letting life create itself, being the mysticus.
Anyway, in Spain we said goodbye and I travelled further to the south. In this moment there were severe fires burning in the middle of Portugal, so my heart cried out for the people, animals and al the rest of nature that was lost. But it did not make me change my mind. And when I crossed the border, early in the morning, my whole being jumped from joy and pleasure. I was getting home again! An hour away from the Alentejo I felt the urge to contact my dear Portugese friend, who was only there thàt day, before him leaving for the holiday’s, who turned out to be the key figure in finding my new home. And what a home it was! A beautiful ‘quinta’ with eight acres of land in the middle of a natural park, to take care for while the owner was gone most of the time. ‘Thrown into my lap!’
OMG, at the first day of my arrival I had already accomplished my goal… what will become of the rest of my four weeks stay?
Biggg kiss from Little Blond